A Movie Review: Dog Gone

Folks, take a long, hard look at this movie poster.

What you see before you is one of the most boring, ill-conceived, ill-executed, too-stupid-to-even-be-kid-friendly movies I have ever had the displeasure of sitting through. And I did this for you, my friends.

Imagine a lovely forest scene, as we first come across a bee's nest, obviously housed by bees as we are greeted with a fleet of the little CG bastards.

Those first three paragraphs were written this morning, after I had finished the movie. Right after I had finished it.

I quickly became too angry to write anymore, and...many hours later, I am still too angry to do a proper review of this film. This film does not deserve a proper review. What it DOES deserve is to be placed on its knees, pistol to the back of the skull, and executed. I find myself wishing that I could have sat through Paul Blart again, instead. I don't even know if I did a review of that movie anymore, but I would gladly go over why I hated it over this film.

Fuck you, dog. Fuck you French Stewart. Fuck you movie. I hate you. I hate you and your stupid, CG animals. Your stupid stupidness.

I hate you.

This Could Be the Start of Something Good

A Saudi woman has brought down the hammer on a religious police officer in an amusement park in Al-Mubarraz. This will hopefully be the beginning of women standing up for themselves, and a general movement toward fighting the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice. Yes, that is a real police force in Saudi Arabia.

“To see resistance from a woman means a lot,” Wajiha Al-Huwaidar, a Saudi women’s rights activist, said. “People are fed up with these religious police, and now they have to pay the price for the humiliation they put people through for years and years. This is just the beginning and there will be more resistance. The media and the Internet have given people a lot of power and the freedom to express their anger,” she said. “The Hai’a are like a militia, but now whenever they do something it’s all over the Internet. This gives them a horrible reputation and gives people power to react.”

At the amusement park, the officer was looking for unmarried couples. He came across this one 20-something pair, to which the male promptly fainted upon being asked for an ID card. The woman then raged out and punched the cop several times, sending him to the hospital actually.

While an awesome thing took place, she will unfortunately most likely be sent to trial for this. If this happens, she will be in prison for quite some time and be subject to other punishments such as lashings.

In a society where women are not allowed to drive, inherit, divorce, or even fight for custody of their own children, this was a bold move during a time when bold moves are needed.

The Pimpinest Hairstyle of All Time

Meet "Prince". Prince is a Jersey City pimp recently sentenced to 18 years in prison for human trafficking and prostitution ring-leading(?). Prince also has the most pimpinest hairstyle, quite possibly, of all time.

At the end of the article you can see yet another amazing work of hair.

How can you hate on a man who obviously is capable of great care and attention to detail?

7x13=28

Math I understand!

Popeye Ain't What I Remember 'im to Be

Just discovered this guy tonight.

I must say, he makes Ian McKellen even more fun.

Elvis Costello Got a Little Cooler

By making his relations with Israel very icy.

It's nice to finally hear some big names do something other than Support Israel for being Israel and actually see what the hell is going on over there.

Thanks to Cynical-C Blog for posting this originally.

Why?

I love google's autofill thingy.

Why can't I own a Canadian?

Okey-Dokey Pig in a Pokey!

My other computer will suffice for now.

This is a minor update to apologize for disappearing and keeping you all waiting.

It shouldn't be much longer, now.

In the mean time, I shall post a review of sorts of the film Paul Blart: Mall Cop. What an utter failure of cinema.

If you haven't, watch and catch up on The League of Gentlemen. Holy cow is it great.