A Movie Review: Dog Gone

Folks, take a long, hard look at this movie poster.

What you see before you is one of the most boring, ill-conceived, ill-executed, too-stupid-to-even-be-kid-friendly movies I have ever had the displeasure of sitting through. And I did this for you, my friends.

Imagine a lovely forest scene, as we first come across a bee's nest, obviously housed by bees as we are greeted with a fleet of the little CG bastards.

Those first three paragraphs were written this morning, after I had finished the movie. Right after I had finished it.

I quickly became too angry to write anymore, and...many hours later, I am still too angry to do a proper review of this film. This film does not deserve a proper review. What it DOES deserve is to be placed on its knees, pistol to the back of the skull, and executed. I find myself wishing that I could have sat through Paul Blart again, instead. I don't even know if I did a review of that movie anymore, but I would gladly go over why I hated it over this film.

Fuck you, dog. Fuck you French Stewart. Fuck you movie. I hate you. I hate you and your stupid, CG animals. Your stupid stupidness.

I hate you.